Thursday, February 16, 2012


I had to go to Iparty for invitations. When I walked out, something terrible happened...Marshall's opened....(and I went in).

In my head I was going to just look at shoes a bit and maybe check out kids clothes. I have never been a big fan of trying on clothes for myself. I get my shopping high in the kids' section.
But, what if I get that job?
What if corduroy can't be my daily fabric?
What if I have to wear things without cooking stains?
Why don't I own an apron? (Other than the apron I ignore that I do own? Why do I have apron laziness? Talk to your dr. if you experience apron laziness...)

I found a pair of pants. Those new (OK 3 or 4 yrs old now) jean trouser situations. So I wandered with those, but saw nothing else. I was about to replace them on the rack when suddenly I had the Hello Kitty belch. (A little girlie reaction to a dress I saw). OK, if I have 2 things to try on, then I will go in the dressing room. (I can't get florescent lights naked for a pair of pants.) But then I saw another dress. And another. Not one of them in corduroy, and half of them pretty clingy. Why the F not? Hm? I am just trying them on. In the dead of winter. While wearing thick brown socks that leave nasty elastic markings on my legs... (Shmexy)

I walked in with 9 items and came home with 3. I am having thoughts about going back for 2 of them I had put back. The potential of 5 pieces and absolutely no tears or self disgust!!! This is what happened when I put on the first dress:

Oh. This hugs my hips a bit. hugs my hips a bit.
Is this OK?
I think this is OK.
I am going to walk to the very public (within the dressing room) 3 way mirror and look again.
Yes. Those are my hips.
But, those are MY hips.
I mean, what the hell am I calling myself a Curvy Girl in public for if not to truly embrace it?
Are those my hips? Damn straight they are. Why do I drool after Marilyn and at the same time try to hide my own lower curves?

I am going to try on this dress next....
Is it OK to broadcast my ass?
Apparently it is now because I am buying that and I am dubbing it my new LBD:
Little Back Dress
Little Buttocks be Damned!
Luscious Booty Display!

I left that store on a high. I had my trousers (TROWZERZS), 2 dresses, the ability to try on all those other dresses and accept myself in them, a new interest in other materials outside of denim and cords, and an appreciation for some of the new styles. Most importantly, I walked out of there accepting a feature of mine more warmly than I ever have in the past. I wonder if I will love the dresses as much when it is time to venture out in them? Or will I shy away again of the exposé? It is hard to tell. Self acceptance is an ongoing war.
I'd like to think I just hip checked my way through one of the battles.

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