Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Unlucky 13?

Today is my 13th wedding anniversary and I have been reluctant to acknowledge it, much less discuss it. It seems unlucky somehow, something of a bad omen, more sensible to ignore than celebrate.
But I have also been privy to some conversations, television shows and gossip mag fodder lately that confirm what – after all this time – I already knew. Marriage is really freaking hard.
So in honor of my beloved, I give you
Top 13 Reasons Our Marriage has Lasted 13 Years
13. My husband lets me have the remote. This is true. Lucky for him, I sit still for about 19 minutes a day so he only has to endure my Real Housewives in short bursts.
12. He’s hot. Much hotter now than he was 13 years ago and this is also true. Ask anyone. Except his mother. That would be gross.
11. I am a forgiving sort of person. After I take out all of my anger and aggression in totally pathological and vindictive ways, I am very forgiving indeed. I deserve some credit for this over the course of all these years.
10. We love each other. A lot.
9. We like each other. Enough.
8. We make hairy little monkey babies that grow into amazingly beautiful girls. Nobody will ever love them as much as we do and therefore we stay married so they can have the best in life, forever and always, times two.
7. Here's what I really want in life: to have someone to sit with on a porch someday at dusk and say “Remember when we were young?” and have him reach out and grab ahold of my wrinkled hand and say, “Yes my love. I do.
And you were beautiful.”
6. In the midst of my third child’s homebirth labor, I wailed in the shower as the contractions came on in agonizing waves. I just wanted to be alone. I found out 5 years later that he had spent that entire time sitting right outside the bathroom door, only a few feet away.
5. We talk. Constantly. And frequently to each other.
4. My kids all look like him. What kind of man is going to want to date a divorcee whose daughters all look exactly like her ex-husband? Safer to stay married.
3. He is stable enough to make me feel safe but unstable enough to make me feel like life is interesting. I loathe boredom.
2. He hates to camp, which frees me up to do camping trips with my friends. And those are infinitely more fun than dealing with a man in the woods who is depserately missing his television.
And the number 1 reason my marriage has lasted 13 years: He loves me – on dark days when I am filled with venom, on light days when my love could blind him. He has loved me through it all and for this, another 13 years would simply never do. I want the whole thing -- that lifetime deal.

I won't settle for a minute less. 


  1. Happy Anniversary. How beautiful was that?

  2. sheesh. watery eyes over here, must be allergies... :)sweet grins.