Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Losing Touch

I think we are losing touch. With how easy it is to reach someone, I think we are missing key points in truly being in touch with someone.

Remember the phone? All you could do on a phone was call a person and talk to them. 
Voice to voice. 
Tone to tone. 
You could explain things more easily and had nary a finger cramp. You could catch where they were lead astray more quickly and fix or back peddle at the sound of a "hurrumph". There was a dance you could do on the phone, keeping everything in check. Hanging up you knew where you stood. Maybe it wasn't always a good standing- but you knew the placement of your feet.

There was also letter writing. That was a thought out process. If you were getting out the stationary and putting a stamp on an envelope, you were going to compose something. No 3 seconds to "send" button. You would re-read and fold and maybe not seal the envelope for a day. A lot of rethinking and rewriting could happen. Sure- it went in the mailbox and sometimes a wave of panic could wash over you (and also a bit of a thrill. It was out there!) But again, time. Time to work with your words and savor your thoughts. And if it was just too long to write or too hard to explain- again, the phone...

"Hi! It is me. Fine, how are you?" 

I rarely have an email that starts like that. I never have a text that starts that way. I mean- you saw on FB that I had a funny morning, right? You thought that post was interesting from the Huffington Post. You can see my kids are growing like weeds. But do you know how I am doing as an individual? Anyone can paint a picture.

I am fine, by the way. New job. Some stress. 
Oh, and a smidge of broken heart because friendships end when people don't talk. Verbally.

I will often drop a fb post or a text to check on people. I could say I am guilty of it, but really- social media makes us capable of being in touch with so many different people. I think it is a plus in so many ways. You see that they went away! You help suggest things when asked. You can do a drive by- "I was thinking of you!"- post and they can drive past and respond. I do love it. A lot. <3 Especially because I am not much of a phone person. Also, my close friends and I have waves of long emails back and forth which I love. Reminds me of letter writing days. They come and go depending on how busy life is for one of us.

I am guilty of forgetting those not on FB, though. Of not sending pix to my mom or my mother in law. Or not filling a non FB person in on my life. 

What? We moved 6 months ago!!! I didn't tell you? I thought everyone knew... Oops.

All I am saying about our new technology is this...
When a text gets weird and you are re-explaining something? Check in.

If you write something more than "Saw your car!" or "Did you get that Groupon?" and it doesn't get a response in a textly manner? Check in.

If something has upset you, don't hit "send", hit "call". 

I have called a friend long distance to straighten something out from our emails that I couldn't for the life of me figure out. Why was she was so upset? When I called her I was astonished to hear her answer. I never fathomed it. I would have never known, and at that moment it was everything to her and I was oblivious until she could say it. And her voice could wobble in my ear. And I could remember who we were. And yes, of course, I would fix it because I knew I needed to step up for a friend whose voice sounded like that.

Who you gonna call?
(don't say it)

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