Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Yoga in the Air...I Guess I Can't Fly

Two things I know are true.

1.) A good yoga class can bring out different difficult emotions, and
2.) I am having a hard time right now.

There was a third thing I thought was true, and that was the fact that I am strong enough to transcend the stresses of everyday life, that I am bigger than my problems, that I don't let them stand in my way of doing what I want to do.

This little theory was disproved at my first Aerial Yoga class yesterday, in Northborough, MA.

The truth was that this particular discipline of yoga has everything to do with courage, trust and letting go. These happen to be 3 areas in which I am struggling terribly right now.

I haven't been burned beyond repair -- the emotions just happen to be a little raw. I am highly mistrustful of my fellow human beings, I am alternatively full of a blinding rage and a peaceful transcendence. I flip-flop between wishing a particular someone a blissful journey (out of my life) and harboring feelings of wanting to stab their eyes out with my fingers and push them down a flight of stairs. Yes, lil old me. I am battling my own violent side.

A peaceful warrior was a good start.

 But what surprised me...genuinely surprised me...was my difficulty in letting go when it came time to hang upside down, to lean backwards and drop, to let go of the silks. I felt terrified. And What made me sad was that I know this isn't my general nature -- it just happens to be my reality right now. Turns out trust is a precious inner commodity that can be damaged, dented or even broken, and it seeps into areas of your life in which is doesn't necessarily belong.
 I tried to become a child again, to lose the weight of my adult issues, to go back to a time when hanging from the monkey bars was natural and freeing. Turns out this is easier said than done. Maybe I have come too far to go back there.

There is a third thing I know is true. Savasana in a silk hammock is an experience so far unparalleled in my life. It was a safe, warm, comfortable place and I will travel back there in my mind in weeks to come when life outside of the silks poses its challenges.
For anyone in the greater MA area, Aerial Yoga is yours for the taking! A single class costs $25 and you can see the schedule and learn more about Ebb n Flow Yoga studio HERE!

1 comment:

  1. man, i've been wanting to try that... wondering about the 'risk' in it... trust and mistrust is a real fucker for me right now and i'm not sure how to work around it at all. just trying to go slow and trust myself. seems so lame. damnit.