I opened the window the other night after turning off the a/c. I was met with a sound that makes me feel both excited and melancholy.
August is waning.
Spring is usually thought of the starting fresh season, and January holds the clean slate mentality. But it is Fall in my world. I think it is for most people- I am not sure. Fall is where my true resolutions are made. With children in school and a solid routine in place, I can add a routine of my own for getting out there and walking. For making more organized and healthy meals. For establishing a no BS bedtime.
Having gone to school for 20 years and then taught it for another 7, my life is a school calendar. My method to organize our life is to label and buy new and set up and find places for and create habits....that all fades sometime in October. (The important stuff sticks).
I am always struck with the memory of an orange and brown plaid dress with an apple on it. (pretty sure the apple was corduroy!!) I am guessing it was a dress from Kindergarten. A back to school clothing memory. (TOTESIE made from this packet of patterns I am sure)
That dress always floats back to me this time of year. I can remember clothes from other years as well, but it is that dress at that age that I think of first.
Then when the mornings remain a little cooler at the end of August I smell my first morning on my college campus. It is accompanied by distant but real butterflies in my stomach just remembering the navigation of my life at that point. Never having gone to camp or anything, that was my leaving home for the first time ever. I was heartsick for my mom and confused as to how I was going to make it there when I felt as intelligent as a bowl of grapefruits. It was also soon after my body and looks completely changed- I had no idea who I was. And having been at the same school since 3rd grade, had no idea how one makes a new friend nor how I would be seen, having been seen as the same by the same people all my life.
As with every change of season comes the approach to the Fall/Winter wardrobe. The finding it under the bed or upstairs closet, or where ever it may be. The re-trying on of stuff with internal dialogue:
WHAT did I do to myself this Summer?
WHY do I have this?
WHO stained my favorite "crisp weekend out with friends" shirt??
WHERE did the style of this go?
HOW did I think I could get away with having this pair of pants for 16 years?
WHEN....will....these....fit....(sweat)...again...(pant, pant)....OK, I will put them away for next year's "goal" pants.
Knowing I have to undo the damage of Ben-n-Jerry-palooza that claimed many of my Summer weekends, I still turn my thoughts to the first pot of beef stew I will make and the many baked ways to handle a bushel or 3 of apples. Oh and the pumpkins I think that are growing next to my driveway- that will involve some flour, sugar, and butter....
Well, that is OK because I will have that great walking routine going and the usually always healthy menu lined up by then. (Or is that the thing that always fades by October????)