Wednesday, February 15, 2012


The ride starts off slow, building momentum as the seconds start to whiz by. The intensity builds faster and you rise higher. You hit the highest point - with sheer euphoria and total thrill. And then it happens. You plummet with lightening fast speed to rock bottom - your stomach lurching and you feel as if you will puke.

Welcome to the Emotional Rollercoaster.

Case in point, Girl Scout Cookies.

This year I have avoided them entirely - despite the incessant pleas from moms all over helping their young'uns in sales of sugary treats. However, I know many of you who have indulged. Really indulged.

That box of Thin Mints sits on your counter idly. You may walk past it a few times. The momentum starts to build; you tear the strip off the box and rip apart the glued seams of the cellophane wrapper. The excitement starts to build as you slide your fingers in to retrieve just two of these delectable snacks. You savor the flavor on your tongue for a few seconds before chewing and swallowing the molten morsel. The second cookie is consumed much faster and the thrill has begun.

You walk away. Momentarily.

Before you know it, you have an out of body, exorcism experience where you devour the remainder of the Girl Scout cookies - what? There's only like 8 in the box anyway, right? You have hit this orgasmic, euphoric high from a box of processed sugar.

God damn little freaking Girl Scouts.

The rapid and thundering fall from the heights has commenced. As the cookie guilt starts to weigh heavily on your mind (and surges dangerously close to your hips and butt), you start to chastise yourself for being so weak! By the time you hit rock bottom, the only sense of relief from your overindulgence is the desire to vomit.

Goddamn Girl Scouts.

The Emotional Rollercoaster. Those little morsels of hocked goodness from sweet, charming little girls trying to go away to camp.

Maybe it's a box of Devil Dogs. Or cheese balls. Or cupcakes. Or Chinese food. Or chips. Or ice cream. There are too many vices to name in just ONE blog.

Emotional over-eating. Stress, boredom, anxiety, or name your trigger. We all know the "right" things you are supposed to do when pressed to take the Rollercoaster ride. Yet, we tend to forget the consequences and succumb to the trip repeatedly. Real life Pavlov experience - we come running and foaming at the mouth with drool, followed by laying prone or in the fetal position moaning with misery and remorse.

After all, when was the last time you heard of someone over-indulging on kale?!

1 comment:

  1. "Those little morsels of hocked goodness from sweet, charming little girls trying to go away to camp." funnnnnny