Size 12

CONFESSION #1: The plus sized model above makes me feel better about my size 12-ed-ness. She's gorgeous.

The above photograph is from a recently published article in PLUS Magazine. I showed it to my daughters. I love the curves on this model, honestly truly. But even as my deep thoughts about body image and raising daughters and all that jazz swirl amidst my busy mind, the photo reminded me of something else entirely.

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I don't have one of those faces that people feel compelled to compare. I have never been told I look like anyone -- "ohmygod! Do you know who you LOOK LIKE????" -- and I always wanted a celebrity comparison. For years, Lisa Loeb was the best I could do cuz we had similar glasses and brown hair.

Recently, all of this changed. My 20-something babysitter said "Ohmygod! Do you know who you look EXACTLY LIKE?"

...

Kristen Stewart. From Twilight.

...

I will admit I had no idea who that was, being an old hag and all that. However, as adept as I am with google images, I was able to look her up.

Hmmm. Yes, I can see the similarities. If you take away all the old and wrinkly parts of my face, throw on some professional make-up, a speed-round of some braces, a come-hither look... and degrease my hair, yes. Hmm. Maybe.

Oh, that and shave about 72 pounds of my frame. I look like I ATE Kristen Stewart for breakfast. And lunch. And snacked on the bones for dinner. Nom nom nom.

In fact, the more I look at her, the more I think maybe I could bench press Kristen Stewart. If Kristen and I were to have a quick cuddle, it might look very much like the above picture.

Even still, I can't help but looking at this

and feeling simultaneously jealous and maternal. If done while eating ungodly amounts of homemade guacamole and chocolate cake while drinking my weight in red wine and working out extra hard the next day, I wouldn't mind looking just a little less like me and a little more like her. I am just not willing to make the kinds of sacrifices (aka starving myself) that this figure would require of me.

But I also want to sit her down at my kitchen table and feed the girl a burger.

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Oh, and you should go read that article and check out the pictures too. And give yourself a hug today, curves and all.