Celery Sticks!

Stay tuned for an entirely separate blog post on self-hatred; but in the meantime, let’s talks celery sticks. Seriously, what did a celery stick ever do to get so much flack? You need something to cleanse your pallet after a fire-burning, tongue lashing, plate full of buffalo wings! Right? I think I hear Kate letting out a valiant, “Hells ya…followed by a devil dog or a twinkie, woman! Brou ha ha ha ha!”

Let’s talk about the fact that people keep picking on me. Yes, I have outgrown the mean hearing aid jokes (okay, maybe not…ask my sister-in-law Cheryl about her favorite “How do you sell a deaf person a duck” joke……), and there are no longer jabs about my gargantuan DD-sized boobs and the three running bras I needed to keep them strapped down. However, I now get a fair dose of being picked on for my love of veggies. Yes, veggies….and not just celery sticks, but other things such as kale, or kohlrabi or Brussels sprouts. Hey, I REALLY like them now. I think veggies are sexy! Oh la la – broccoli, with all its curves…..there is nothing more plump and delectable than a gorgeous portabella mushroom; how sexy is a mouthful of small, round brussel sprouts?

Back to basics – remember, I’m a very curvy girl right? I have always liked my veggies. I have always liked my food. I LIKE TO EAT. Most times, I’m an immensely healthy eater, but I have also determined that I am an emotional eater (stay tuned for THAT blog post). However, there was a period of time where I was not making wise food choices (or other lifestyle choices). Then, one day, kale gave me quite the bitch slap in the face!

Nutrition, how you fuel your body is an amazing way to control some of your overall health. You want studies; they are rampant and scream for us to pay attention. Our voluptuous curves will not cause us cancer (or heart disease or diabetes or……), but our obesity (or our imbalanced diets) WILL.

How HARD it is to eat healthy? No harder than it is to eat UNHEALTHY.

Now, anyone of you who has seen me in person knows I carry a fair amount of weight still. Did I mention that I LIKE TO EAT. Like anything else, our eating patterns are habit or follow a mindless pattern to fit our hectic lives. We eat (or don’t eat) each day as part of our daily pattern; just like waking up, taking kids to school and plucking our grey hairs. It takes 30 days to break or create a new daily habit, and many of us do not persevere with new changes long enough to take effect. (Why would we have the same New Year’s Resolutions year after year after year?).

It is EXPENSIVE it is to eat healthy. WHAT? Sure, if you are talking extremes and buying nothing but entirely organic everything; purely grass-fed, daily brushed and cuddled with a blankie beef, and exotic mushrooms from Tibet. Those celery sticks – about $1.29. A 3 lb bag of kale – about $3. Spinach - $1.49/bag. Apples at $1.49/lb (or about .55-.75 a piece). Blueberries about $3/pint. Eggs roughly $1.49/dozen.

How often have you not thought twice about that $1 candy bar at the checkout?

It is really about making new household habits, for you, for your family. My fear of not giving my children the tools to properly fuel themselves – and arm themselves against a bevy of illnesses, far outweighs any other deterrent against eating healthy. It is just as important as the perception of body image, that we enable our children and OURSELVES to provide ourselves with optimal health.

However, in reality, our overall goal is to find BALANCE. One world where celery sticks and buffalo wings can safely reside in BALANCE; a world where the kale will help escort out of your body, the sticky devil dog gooeyness. With an enabled and fueled body, one can enjoy all foods – especially those black-listed items, in moderation.

And now I want a celery stick.

Challenge of the week - try Kale Chips!

Kale Chips: One bag of chopped & cleaned kale; put on cookie sheet and spritz with extra virgin olive oil. Season to taste (we like Garlic Garlic and season salt). Roast at 375 degrees for about 8-10 mins, or until desired crispness. NOTE: Quick burning point, so watch carefully. The darker the kale, the stronger the taste. Keep experimenting until you find your preferred doneness. Embrace your green teeth you sexy beast!