In the Company of Friends~ Kate writes

The conversation, once we are all together, may start with something about going to the bathroom...OK. It will start with that.

In the middle there will probably be a discussion about holding a marriage together and the struggles with a child.

Then there will be a thousand little asides between groups of 2s and 3s in different sitting rooms, on walks, tucked into beds, in a nook.

Someone will laugh loudly into a silent, sleepy moment in the afternoon, waking us all into activity again.

There will be someone ready to sunscreen your back or clear your plate.

If you forgot face cream, tampons, shampoo, warm socks, money, suglasses- you are covered.

When you wake, wait 15 mins and you will be joined by a friend and your second cup of coffee.

If you can't decided what to order, someone will order the 2nd thing and you will share.

There is always a designated driver.

Someone is bound to have an even more embarrassing story than yours. If not, you get bragging rights?

If you need to unload, you will be listened to and buoyed. The other faces probably nodding or tear streaked.

Yeah- what is with all the crying? From laughing, frustration, fears, and understanding...it will happen, those tears.

You will hear the words, "me, too" and breathe easier.

You will hear the words, "I will" and breathe easier.

It will always end with hugs and sighs of happiness, exhaustion, and realization that it is time to go back to the real world. 

What was easy to clean while chatting becomes laborious at home. 

A cheese stick becomes a meal instead of the prize of a lengthier breakfast preparation. 

A book unopened and put away at home was the book open, but always face down, when with friends. 

This bonding time is a recharge of the spirit and heart, especially now that our time together, once plentiful, is spotty and incomplete with so many working, so many with children in full day school, so many obligations that come with age and a job.

Not everyone can always make it, and we miss the friends not there. 
But they are toasted. 
They are loved. 

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” C S Lewis

“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...I could walk through my garden forever.” Alfred Tennyson 

“Words are easy, like the wind; Faithful friends are hard to find.” William Shakespeare

Guest Blogger :: Kendra Thornton

5 Fun Tips to Having a Great Summer Vacation

After many summer family vacations, I learned that I needed to take more effort to ensure that my children remained healthy during our time away from home. With a little preparation before going on vacation, we have enjoyed an increasing measure of health and good times every time we have traveled to a theme park or a resort over the summer!

Here are a few simple rules of thumb that I know follow every time we go on a family vacation.  While they may seem minor, they have made a huge difference in how smoothly our vacations have gone since doing these things!

1. Tip: Start every day off with an amazing breakfast.  This is especially true if you are visiting a major theme park and plan on being busy and active all day long.  A healthy breakfast is often provided at many hotels as part of a complimentary service for guests.  Consider loading your family up on oatmeal, fruit, and juice and whole grain toast or bagels to start the day off right.

2. Tip: Make rest and good sleeping habits a priority during vacation.  It’s important for you and your children to get as much rest as possible to avoid being fatigued, which can lead to illness and exhaustion.  Encourage your kids to take naps on long car rides and do your best to get them to bed at a normal bedtime hour. Keep in mind too that there are many Orlando hotels in Walt Disney World that implement a quiet hours policy to ensure their visitors a solids night sleep.

3. Tip: Take time to stop every few hours during extended car trips so the entire family can get out and stretch.  An article provided by Great Schools suggests leaving early to allow time for frequent stops.  Stretching is important to maintain healthy circulation and can make a long trip more comfortable for everyone.

4. Tip: Take along sanitizing wipes.  Sanitizing wipes are ideal to use if a child has a snack in a car so he can wipe his hands off with.  They also work well when you are in public places such as airports or malls where a lot of germs are present.

5. Tip: To stimulate your children’s minds and interests, take along art supplies and cards where they can create their own postcards from the places you visit.  You can also travel with a scrapbook so they can collect memories to last a lifetime!

While these may be simple steps to take, they can help you to have a safer and more well rounded vacation that can be enjoyed by every member of the family.  Keeping an eye out for healthy restaurants and encouraging everyone to drink a lot of water will also help to make the trip safe and pleasant for you and your kids!

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Don't forget that you, too, can be a guest blogger! Send us along whatever it is you feel like sharing to confessionsofacurvygirl@gmail.com

A Rebirth

“The heart is a bloom.  Shoots up through the stony ground.”   ~”Beautiful Day” by U2

The weather these past couple of weeks has been simply remarkable here in New England.  Radiant sunshine, vibrant blue skies coupled with the emerging spring greens of new buds and eye-pleasing colors of fresh blooms of daffodils, azaleas and cherry blossoms.

There is an awakening in the air; a re-birth of the dormancy of winter into the hustle and bustle of our spring season.  Old clutter is cleared out by mammals of all sorts; new nests are built and dead leaves swept away.  Seeds are planted and seeds are eaten to fatten up the new offspring to come.  The cicadas are prepping to make their reappearance after hiding for seventeen years underground.

Dusting off Old Man Winter (and putting away the wools, the mittens and the boots) is as invigorating as a dive into the cold ocean.  Who does not come out of winter feeling twenty pounds lighter?

Spring brings about this rebirth and reawakens our core; a new sense of purpose sparked within our very beings and some of us are redefining ourselves.   After two tumultuous weeks of preserving my finer memories with my parents and saying my final good-byes to each of them; I find myself lighter.  The weight of dysfunctional relationships and hideous memories has been packed away, not unlike that of my winter gear.  I am ready to embrace the new growth within my emotional garden.  I will tend to the necessary pruning of my life experiences so the next generations of buds (my children) will be firmly rooted and they will blossom even more beautifully within their souls.

My children and my husband are also having their own sense of reawakening this spring.  All three of my children have a new sense of purpose:  new experiences and new opportunities in the activities they are most passionate about;  redefining relationships that are important to them or that alternatively hold them back; and each of them taking claim to a piece of their deceased grandparents to embed into the woven fibers of their innermost-being. 

My husband always comes “alive” in spring – something about the new season enlightens him and gives him the added energy to shake off the winter doldrums and seasonal affective disorder.  The longer days energize him and he helps to clear the “clutter”, not unlike the animals in their outdoor tizzy.  D’s perseverance and dedication to his job has paid off and he will be afforded a new opportunity to embrace his confidence, his self-esteem, and his sense of self-worth in the coming year.

 

 

My rebirth is coming in a much different manner.  2013 has always been about change for me; I proclaimed proudly in January that this year is ALL ABOUT ME.  I am coming to realize that it is a rebirth year for me.  Yes, I have closed the doors on the chapters to both of my parents’ lives recently, but I am drawn to some very significant milestones that are approaching me at lightning speed.

June 7^th is a monumental date in my life.  No, it is not my wedding anniversary (that’s May 25^th for those of you interested parties and yes, at 17 years of marriage at my age – it seems to be quite the statistic).  I finished chemotherapy that first week in June, back in 2008.  Congratulations to me, right?  Well, wait a minute and let me explain to you how this is even more monumental than you realize. 

The type of breast cancer that I had is referred to as triple negative – meaning that it does not fall into the typical hormone responsive cancers with the usual markers.  The triple negative sub-type accounts for only 15-20% of all breast cancer diagnoses and it has the highest rate of recurrence.  However, statistics show that should a breast cancer warrior survive five years past her marker (my doctor likes to use the date I finished chemotherapy, not my date of diagnosis nor the date I finished radiation), then chances are – statistics PROVE – that I will likely never have this cancer again. 

M.O.N.U.M.E.N.T.A.L.

YES!  Hoo-rah!  Whoopeee!  That little black cancer cloud that has been off in the distance, but yet, still here to remind me of my flirt with death will be cast away into the far off yonder in early June.  (Knock on wood, my Jewish mother would say). 

My little miracle baby that thrived in utero despite the constant poisons coursing through my veins and through her teeny developing body has turned five.  Her baby teeth have suffered as a result of the chemotherapy; however, the rest of her is insanely perfect in every possible way.  She is vivacious and absolutely full of life. 

 

Time to celebrate.  But wait.

Just six months later, I will be turning forty.  4-0. I was not crazy about turning thirty.  Little did I know with my insecure dislike of thirty, that a series of unfortunate events would allow me to turn around and embrace my age a decade later.

If there is not a greater time to throw a party and celebrate the act of living life, and living life to its fullest; a true rebirth if you will – well, I say it is now, somewhere after my five year cancer-versary and before my 40th.   My heart is abloom………

Who’s in?

BossyProse

I feel myself shrinking back into my shell. The past few weeks of this blog have been ripe with over-sharing and so this week I choose, instead, to shift the attention off myself and onto someone else's words. It may be a few weeks before this loud-mouthed but sensitive turtle pokes her head out of the shelter again, but in the meantime you shall have some of my favorite writers' words.

This is also in honor of Mother's Day, and it's a piece from Tina Fey's book BossyPants that I love perhaps owing to the small fact that I have 3 daughters. If you've not read it yet, you are in for a treat.

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A PRAYER FOR MY DAUGHTER   By Tina Fey

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half and stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her, when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the nearby subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock N’ Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes and not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. 

Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, for Childhood is short — a Tiger Flower blooming magenta for one day – and Adulthood is long and Dry-Humping in Cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers and the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, for I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 a.m., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental note to call me. And she will forget.

But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.

Real Life Women Power Pack- Kate writes

I am moving away from Disney Princesses now from last Tuesday and the Tuesday before. Moving away from Barbie in general and am thinking about Real Life Women that I feel would go well in a power pack that I could then hand my daughters at Christmas. Searching all the plastic for a role model was not going to happen at Target.

Barbie Power Packs had 7 dolls. Narrowing my Real Life Women Power Pack (RLWPP)® was difficult. And I don't know if I can, really. These power packs might keep popping up for you all through the weeks...


REAL LIFE WOMEN POWER PACK®!!!


Sally Ride- Comes with miniature shuttle and classroom material for your teachers on how to keep children interested in Science! 

Hilary Clinton- Comes with glasses you can remove as well as a can of whoop-ass!

 Rosa Parks- Comes with a pair of tickets to the Women's Hall of Fame where she was inducted. (Bus sold separately. )

Tina Fey- Complete with copy of her book, Bossy Pants. (Amy Poehler side kick available with 3 proofs of purchase.)

 

Martina Navratilova- Has a tennis racket you can use! Rainbow and pink ribbon magnets for your car included!

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Francis Perkins- Comes with a Social Security card for you! And a mini diploma that reads: Mount Holyoke, Class of 1902. (Deal with it. My power pack)






























Marie Curie- comes with everything you see here! (Radium not included. Kids, ask mom and dad before touching Marie Curie. Do not taunt Marie Curie.)



I could make a RLWPP for artists, one for writers. I could do sports and sciences. I can go on. Which is amazing. To stop and look at all the available role models our daughters/nieces/granddaughters/friend's daughters have, we certainly have come a long way. And these are the ones you can find on line, in books, on A&E biography. How about the role models we can find in our homes? Families? Schools? Places of worship? Afterschool activities. How about you? And me?

Yeah. 

My niece wrote a paper about me 2 years ago on how I was someone whom she admired. I have been a better person ever since. Just knowing that I was being seen by someone I didn't create, or who didn't create me, as an important person in the world? I got better that instant. 
(Boxes of tissues included with every reading.)

And by the by- Mulan was real. Her tale translated:

The sound of one sigh after another, As Mulan weaves at the doorway.

No sound of the loom and shuttle, Only that of the girl lamenting.

Ask her of whom she thinks, Ask her for whom she longs.

"There is no one I think of, There is no one I long for.

Last night I saw the army notice, The emperor is calling a great draft.

A dozen volumes of battle rolls, Each one with my father's name.

My father has no grown-up son, And I have no elder brother.

I'm willing to buy a horse and saddle, To go to battle in my father's place."

She buys a fine steed at the east market; A saddle and blanket at the west market;

A bridle at the south market; And a long whip at the north market.

She takes leave of her parents at dawn, To camp beside the Yellow River at dusk.

No sound of her parents hailing their girl, Just the rumbling waters of the Yellow River.

She leaves the Yellow River at dawn, To reach the Black Mountains by dusk.

No sound of her parents hailing their girl, Just the cries of barbarian cavalry in the Yan hills.

Ten thousand miles she rode in war, Crossing passes and mountains as if on a wing.

On the northern air comes the sentry's gong, Cold light shines on her coat of steel.

The general dead after a hundred battles, The warriors return after ten years.

They return to see the Son of Heaven, Who sits in the Hall of Brilliance.

The rolls of merit spin a dozen times, Rewards in the hundreds and thousands.

The emperor asks her what she desires, "I've no need for the post of a gentleman official,

I ask to borrow a camel fleet of foot, To carry me back to my hometown."

Her parents hearing their girl returns, Out to the suburbs to welcome her back.

Elder sister hearing her sister returns, Adjusts her rouge by the doorway.

Little brother hearing his sister returns, Sharpens his knife for pigs and lamb.

"I open my east chamber door, And sit on my west chamber bed.

I take off my battle cloak, And put on my old-time clothes.

I adjust my wispy hair at the window sill, And apply my bisque makeup by the mirror.

I step out to see my comrades-in-arms, They are all surprised and astounded:

'We travelled twelve years together, Yet didn't realize Mulan was a lady!'"

The male rabbit is swifter of foot, The eyes of the female are somewhat smaller.

But when the two rabbits run side by side, How can you tell the female from the male?

You Think You Know Me?

As you all know, last week Confessions of a Curvy Girl blog was nominated for a Liebster award!  Thanks to Surprise Mama for nominating us and for her incredibly kind words!  In playing along with the receipt of such an award, we have to let you all get to know us a little better.

11 Random Facts about Me, Myself and I:

1. I detest being called “Becky”.  Seriously, I would rather be called sh*thead, then Becky. (I will punch you in the nose, unless you are my favorite oncologist - you get a free pass.  Brian in 2nd grade will remind you that I live true to my words; as we both suffered a paddle on the butt from the principal.  That is how Oklahoma rolls, people).
2. Orange is my favorite color.
3. The smell of farts literally makes me gag, and often times causes me to puke.
4. I prefer cats to dogs.  (I will be that old cat lady……).
5. I like “weird” food:  sauerkraut, pickled herring in sour cream, spicy chocolate, things in shells, cabbage soup, and I cannot get enough of olives or jalapenos (especially post-chemo).
6. I love to write, even though I am most successful in the corporate world.
7. I am a mosquito-trap; on any given night the mosquitos will ALL come for me and everyone else will deny being bothered by the flying, blood-sucking pests.  You are welcome.
8. My lineage is part-Polish, part-Russian (see aforementioned “weird” food likings in #4), and part-Welsh.  Of course, I am 100% American and 1,000% Boston Strong.
9. I am more confident at nearly 40 and nearly double the weight, than I was at nearly 20 and nearly half the weight.  Booh-yeah!
10. I will love you with all of my being and give you my entirety; however, if you wrong me, I will forgive you but our relationship will be civil at best.  There are too many others out there to love.
11. Cape Cod (aka “The Cape”) is where I feel like I am truly “home” and where I hope to reside someday (i.e. retirement first, then forever).

And finally, my 11 questions from Surprise Mama:

1. What is your favorite book that was made into a movie (and was the movie any good?)  I really enjoyed the book “Midnight In The Garden of Good & Evil”, but the movie was so-so (I love Kevin Spacey so that was okay).
2. Vanilla or Chocolate?  Vanilla ice cream but chocolate cake.
3. What is your proudest moment?  Kicking cancer’s ass and getting a baby out of it.
4. What is the best job or volunteer position you have ever held?  Supporting breast cancer patients through their journeys by helping to co-found PINK Revolution Breast Cancer Alliance.
5. Sneakers or stilettos?  Love how sexxxxxxxxy stilettos look, but must be safe in sneakers (that post-chemo neuropathy is crimping my style!  Ha ha, okay, I’m not really THAT much of a girl), or ideally, love my flip-flops.
6. If you were to teach a class, what would it be called?  Life Is Like A Box of Chocolates – You Don’t Know What You Are Going To Get, But You Must Know How To Function in the Real World.
7. If you were to take a class, what would it be called?  How To Fix The World  (Yes!  I wear rose-colored glasses!)
8. What is the best gift you have ever received?  My 3 children.
9. What is your favorite blog (besides your own)?  To be continued (yes, I'm such a tease!)
10. If you could travel around the world, what five destinations would you be sure not to miss?  Mt. Everest, South Pacific, Alaska, Australia, and Greece
11. What scares you?  Outliving my children and a cancer recurrence.

It's All About Me

Again, many thanks to Surprise Mama for recognizing us and inviting us to play along. Isn't this what blogging is anyways? Talking about ourselves ad nauseum? I'm game!

11 Random Facts About Amanda

1. Only my father calls me Amanda and has never ONCE uttered my nickname, Mandy.

2. I know exactly who I am, but I can't say I always love me. I often wish I was a softer human being.

3. Unlike 99% of the mommy population, I openly admit to the occasional toke, the occasional ciggie, and the daily dose of Wine-zac.

4. I grew up being told, frequently (by my parents), how smart, beautiful and talented I am. So yes, parents of the new millennium -- if you constantly praise your children, you will be creating a self-confident monster. Know your risk.

5. I have never once put a child in a "time-out chair" and I never will -- I don't believe in punitive discipline.

6. I write thank you notes but am not good about making my kids do so.

7. I drop the F-bomb at least 150 times a week, according to my calculations.

8. I named my firstborn child after a stranger who gave my car a jump start on the side of the highway in upstate NY simply because I told her "I'm going to name my firstborn child after you!" as she drove away, and I'm not even sure she heard me.

9. When I was 15, my boyfriend hung himself in his college dorm room. Two decades later, it still knocks the wind out of me to type those words. 

10. I scored 730/800 on my math SATs. Then I failed calculus in college.

11. I am the world's absolute worst RSVP'er.

11 Questions

1. What is your favorite book that was made into a movie (and was the movie any good?) Water for Elephants was a movie that I felt actually brought the book to life.
2. Vanilla or Chocolate? Yes please.
3. What is your proudest moment? Water-birthing my baby at home. I was woman -- could you hear me roar? And then she got to wear a cute little onesie that said born@home.mom and I loved that little onesie. I guess technically, she can wear that expression on her t-shirt until she is old.
4. What is the best job or volunteer position you have ever held? I write. It is my dream job.
5. Sneakers or stilettos? Flip-flops. All day long.
6. If you were to teach a class, what would it be called? Own Your Shit
7. If you were to take a class, what would it be called? How to Stop Judging People for not Owning Their Shit
8. What is the best gift you have ever received? My sister gave me an iPad. It would have been a decade before I could have afforded one, so she brought my family up to technological speed. I'm proud of her that she can buy people iPads as a gift. And I am happy I made the short list.
9. What is your favorite blog (besides your own)? Postsecret
10. If you could travel around the world, what five destinations would you be sure not to miss? I would want to visit 5 friends' homes and experience their daily lives in unusual places, but I don't have 5 international friends. I should work on that.
11. What scares you? Posting personal stuff on this blog

A Blog To Recommend...

I don't read a lot of blogs anymore....I actually don't read any blogs anymore. I was into the scene when my kids were young and it was my only outlet and connection to civilian life. Now I work, I write, and I have great friends -- so my connections are strong IRL. (that's "in real life" in blogspeak)

But here's one to catch...

kmc-movingrightalong.blogspot.com -- this is the blog of a friend of a friend who writes with such moxie and humor, but such honesty too. She writes about life as the mom of a child with brain tumors/neurofibromatosis, and this month she is writing the story of her life post-diagnosis in honor of NF/Brain Tumor Awareness month. It's hard to read but I am so thankful she is sharing.