Change

Today is a difficult day to write, with my natural inclination to hide away from this web page. My mind is racing with thoughts and feelings I would rather not share.

Here's why.

I am from the Boston area, I grew up here and I am raising my family here. Boston is our city.

I am a runner, having recently completed my first 10k with a passionate desire to do it again. I am associated with and often part of that community too.

I am an American, and while my interests do not lie in politics or global affairs, I care.

But that said, I want to break it all down, right back to the self. Because I am a blogger , and bloggers talk about themselves.

So here is what the incidents of the past few days mean to me, especially within this context of the Curvy Girl blog: Life. Is. Precious.

It's too precious to worry about your chubby thighs and crow's feet, or your annoying teenager or your husband who isn't perfect. It's time to hold these people tighter -- yes, even yourself -- and let go of this secondary plane of idealistic perfection, to accept what is and be amazingly grateful for it too.

When I turned 30, I had a little conversation with myself about body image and self-criticism. I told myself that I had spent 30 years being critical of myself and it needed to stop. I knew enough, at 30, to know that I can't have those years back, and that when I looked at old pictures I didn't see myself in retrospect the way I had seen myself in real time. I looked fine.

So does that mean I look fine now? I have made my best attempt at using my 30s as a training ground, trying to see the good in myself, trying to keep that critical voice at bay. Because life is an absolute gift -- this I have come to believe --  and this negative voice just isn't a track worth playing when there are so many beautiful and precious things to hold much, much closer.

This video came across my line of vision this morning and I want to share it. It reminds us that we see ourselves very differently than other people see us, and I think the message is very powerful. I hope you all out there is Curvy Girl reader land will watch it and take it to heart today, because if there were ever a day to change the way you think -- to really remember how beautiful you are -- today is the day.

Looking toward the future, and wanting to change the world, remember to start with yourself.