Let me introduce you to
puberty.
@!#(*#&!@^&!_#*$(&$^#&%(@!(**&@#$&*&@(#$(#@*($@#&%&?%^*#@&$@(*!(@#*
Even if we were given a freshly pressed manual on the how-to-care for the little love bundles we leave the hospital with; well, let me just set you straight (or maybe you already know) – puberty takes everything, and I mean everything, off the table…..there are no-holds-barred when the hormones take up residence in your home.
My 14 year old daughter has been a
cake walk. She hit puberty very early;
yet the only challenge I have with her is a couple of days before that monthly
visitor. Within minutes of rearing her
nasty, ugly, hormonal rage face on mom, she very quickly retorts with an
apology that melts your heart.
H…O…W…E…V…E…R, she has been
absolutely ridiculous with her body image; especially these past few weeks of
summer. At first, it saddened me so much
that she has such a warped view of her body.
But now, I’m angry! Angry at her
(how can she not see what everyone else sees?); angry at me (have I done this
or given her this sense of insecurity about her body image?); and angry at
society (are the relentless covers of scantily-clad, inappropriately thinned
bags of skin on every magazine cover sending her a subliminal message that
perhaps her amazing body is not good enough?)!!
You see, this is the summer of
the bikinis. Yes. Everyone, and I mean everyone (NOT ME – NOT A
SNOWBALL’S CHANCE IN DEVIL’S LAND), is wearing a bikini this year. My daughter decided she would love to wear
one, but she hated how she looked. Momma Bear
was given a mission: a mission to prove
to this child that she is beautiful and can rock a bikini!
This girl plays hours and hours
of soccer every week. This girl works
out several hours a week. She is STRONG
- insanely strong for a 14 year old.
This girl has legs that are so muscular and so powerful….yet; she is
hung up on her tummy “flub”. I have
tried to convince her that she is just beautiful; she can’t be stick thin
because she will not have the power, the strength, the endurance for the sport
that she loves – but I’m mom, what do I know?
Puberty has morphed her body - from
that little kid ball of love, into a young woman with curves – you know: boobs, hourglass figure, hips and did I mention
absolutely beautiful and strong legs?!
My kid has never been in better shape, but yet, her self-esteem - when it
comes to how her body looks - has never been lower. Holy Shish-Ka-Bobs.
I think back to circa 1988, when
I was all of 14….and I realize, that perhaps, I was precisely the same way as
my daughter. I was strong, I was physically
fit, and I was not a fan of my body.
Why? Why are we like this? Is it hormones? Is it society – the expectations, the “norm”,
the perception….? I’m so confused and
honestly, I do not know if I’m handling it right or wrong. My girl seems to be improving a teeny, tiny,
micro-minute-millimeter and now focuses on the Irish/Welsh skin she inherited (“How
can a person be THIS white, mom?”) instead of the so called “flub” that she tries
to pinch and convince me that I am indeed blind to not see it.
The good news is she’s wearing a
bikini. She has a couple of different
styles; and dagnabbit, if she wants more, I will purchase more so that she
continues to wear them. Hopefully, she will see what the rest of us see….an
absolutely stunning, physically fit, and confident young woman.
(And next time, I will share with
you the wonders of an 11 year old boy in puberty. If I had a spaceship, I might ship him off to
Mars…where I swear he belongs).
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