Meet Spike

My gremlin, she lives inside my big head

She opens her mouth, suddenly my heart fills with dread.

"You're Ugly!"  "You're Stupid!"  "You're Lazy!"  "You're Fat!"

She screams, she yells, she deflates me just...like....that.

Some days she can be rather scary, like god forbid, I lack time

For a razor and my legs end up hairy!

At least once a month, my pants seem much more snug,

That bitch Spike, she delivers a debilitating, demeaning and crushing hug.

The days I walk, swim, bike and run

The voice I hear removes all the fun.

 

"Move you lardass!  Go!  Go!  Go!"

As much as I counter with a "Shut it! You fugly ho'!"

I push, I wince and I continue to carry on,

Much like that of a controlled devil's pawn.

 

People say I am very smart, the same of which I often doubt.

Why, oh why, can't I hold myself to the same clout?

 

I need to learn to tame this controlling shrew.

She's evil.  She's conniving.  She's frankly a piece of poo.

 

I do not know how to lock Spike down.

I'm going to practice dousing her ego-crushing frown.

 

"I'm BEAUTIFUL!"  "I'm SMART!"  "I'm STRONG!"

I shall say!

 

Screw you, Spike!  Rebecca is here to stay!

I will have no choice but to believe it, very soon, some day.