Tuesday, December 4, 2012

My Whine is Peaking

Oh my lord. Oh my LORD! I am so out of shape. I went from being in shape to being not in shape anymore all because I stopped exercising. Pish! I am soooo bending over old lady style even just from lack of stretching and limbering myself. 

(Wow, it didn't spell check limbering...) 

I have been trying to grasp the difference between my bending over now to pick something up and my bending over 3 years ago. It is a subtle difference (other than the loud groan that I emit from my guts and throat) but I am not sure exactly the change. There is definitely a shortening of pants around my ankles as I bend. That feels very old in appearance, considering how long pants are these days. Where is all the fabric going? I assume it is spanning my globe. And a lot of my face falls forward as I bed, too. 

Face fallage. 

I did three days of Jillian Michaels' power yoga (a total lie since I did only 2 days of it) and I just wanted to punch her. Ever watch her? Yes, she is totally hot and completely ripped and obviously works out a lot....but not in her videos. She keeps stopping to talk to us while we are still struggling through a side plank with stacked feet. Shut up, woman and get down and do this with us. You lazy, lazy woman. Who do you think you are? You are the biggest loser, that is who! And if I got paid a gabillion bucks, I could look like you, too!

I am being unreasonable.

I have also reached the portion of the show where I give excuses. Ready?

So, my favorite thing to do is walk. Walk walk hike walk walk. But now it is cooooold. And my face is very Irish and stays red for daaaaaaays when it is exposed to the outdoors for over 15 mins. When I go sledding, I look at the calendar to make sure I don't have any "pretty" engagements coming up because I have to give myself a 3 day window to de-beet color my face.

And then there is the whole wanting to punch Jillian so now I actually have to look for more yoga videos on line. Ohhhhhh. That will make me not on facebook. Soooooo time consuming when I could be looking up pot pie recipes, too!! Pot piiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I do miss my time at Global Fitness and I do live somewhat near it's chain, but I don't waaaaaant to pay a gym membership and be in a gym anymoooooooore. I don't want to be driving for lengths of time in my car anymore now that I live away from everythiiiiiing and always have to drive.

Stop swatting at the screen. I know I am obnoxious right now. I hate when people are like this, too.

Sooooo. I am looking at the calendar and see that stupid January 1st date that 3/4 of America uses to decide to get into shape. I refuse that date! I do! But I don't know yet what the date will be when I just take the 10 minutes to do some deep stretching. And 10 minutes to do some core work. And 10 minutes to do resistance with my own body weight. (Not the resistance I am currently practicing that involves resisting all exercise other than walking when it is 50 degrees and warmer.) When you look at the 30 minutes that way, it is honestly not that big a deal. Then why is it such a big deal??!?! Whhhhyyyyyyy???

(Am I alone in this? I know I am not.)

Thank goodness for 50 degrees to start this week! (But I have a coooooooold. Sniff Sniff.)

I am going.... I am going.... On a walk and outta this whine fest.

2 hours later....

I wasn't going to do it at all, so instead I did it the most.

Vaughn Hill Conservation North Peak

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