You know that saying, friends are like a bra – they offer you support when you need it. What happens when your friends start to lose their elasticity or their underwire for you has poked through and been cast aside?
In the past couple of months, three of my friends have been very much less than supportive. I refuse to engage in drama, so despite the twinges of pain I felt in my heart from the crushing words these gals delivered to me; I simply nodded, put a figurative band-aid across my ticker and gave myself positive affirmations. In fact, I actually whispered the words, “Screw you. I will prove to you that I can do this. I will do this. For me, myself and I.”
Putting me aside, however, my brain ventured down the path of over-analysis, much as it does on a daily basis and I began pondering (for the millionth time), why are women not supportive of women. Every week I witness some form of degradation, some demeaning words delivered, some jealous actions played out and all of this by fellow females to other females.
Your fellow estrogen carriers, the women who experience many of the day to day tribulations of being mothers to young children, daughters to aging parents, wives to busy husbands, homeowners, employees, employers – we ALL struggle to do our best with the weight of our own individual worlds on our shoulders. Who has any right to try to pull that rug from underneath a fellow pair of boobs?
The wheels in my grey matter continue to grind and generate thought after thought after thought. Last weekend, still tossing around the bad taste of being undermined by my peers, I moved on from analyzing this as an issue unique and specific to womankind. Stories from the news permeated my outer-being and I was forced to comprehend that humans in general are simply not kind enough to each other.
If you strip us from all of our quirks, from all of our social groups, take away our religious belongings, ignore the thousands of shades of skin-color – what is left over? Cripes, people – we are ALL human beings. What is wrong with us?
I am not naïve enough to suggest that we all have to like one another, because honestly, we do not. I do not expect everyone to like me. I have a strong personality. As a few friends have suggested, I am bold, I am authentic, I am fun and full of life. I am passionate about many things in life and I will fight to the end for those things that I hold absolutely closest to my heart. I will support you. Yes, I will. Sometimes, because of everything that I have on my plate, I am not the best in being there for everyone that I should be there for. However, on the flip side – these are usually the friends that may need more than I, alone, can offer or perhaps these are the friends who offer little or nothing in return.
I am also not asking you to give constant, all out support and words of accolades regardless of circumstance. Really, please do NOT support me if I decide to jump off a bridge. You may absolutely, without a doubt, just give me a solid bitch-slap up against the side of my head and chastise me for being a downright fool.
The older I get, the fonder I become of my rose-colored glasses, indeed. I am trying to make a habit of practicing what I preach. I only preach the act of kindness towards our fellow human beings because I have viewed with my own eyes the very consequence of such acts. Large or small, simple benevolent gestures may change the path of another lovely person: that smile you just gave away – it may just offer a sad woman some hope for the day. Think before you speak; perhaps a minor adjustment in your delivery and choice of words may not derail the emotional being of another but in fact, give him the boost of confidence to reconsider his choice.
For you women readers, think of how amazingly comfortable and supportive your best bra is – you can always rely on the support, the very fabric of your best bra keeps you contained and where you need to be at all times. Your best bra is dependable.
Imagine if we were all as reliable and uplifting as people, as bras are to women?
Be a bra. You never know who may need you on any given day.